Why?

I've been "writing" this post in my mind this past week. Still, I wonder what words will end up here. There is so much I don't understand and probably never will this side of heaven. On August4, 2011, a family was discharged from the Methodist Orphan and Vulnerable Child Centre. The mother, and four children, Papula (7 years), Sara, Rose and Paul (28 month old triplets) were being discharged to live in the village with the children's father/the mother's husband. They had been living at the Centre since the triplets were 4 days old. It was a tough day. Papula didn't want to leave her friends. But, the move was made and everyone adapted well to life in the village.

then, last Sunday, September 11, 2011, the mother and the three girls arrived at church during the worship service. The two younger girls had IV ports on the back of their hands. Papula and her mother were silently crying. (It is not appropriate to "weep and wail" in public.) All three of the triplets had been seriously ill. The were admitted to Lawra Regional Hospital for treatment. (I still don't know the nature of their illness.) Paul died that morning.

Who was taking care of these children? Who was making sure they had safe drinking water? Who was making sure they had enough food to eat? Who was making sure they were being protected from mosquitoes? Who was making sure they received proper medical care when it was needed?

I have so many questions! In the midst of it all God is still God and He is still good. I want to know why this child died. His death seems as if it is a needless death, a preventable one. I wonder...How do missionary doctors handle the "needless" and "preventable" deaths they see everyday? I pray that God will give the the strength, courage and wisdom to continue their life saving work. It is not in vain.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff"? Sometimes I wonder if the person who coined the phrase ever had their computer crash. I wonder if they ever had one of those days when everything goes wrong. I wonder if they ever had one of those days when they burned dinner for company arriving in five minutes. I wonder if they ever had blood gushing from their finger, wondering if it is okay...

Living in Ghana has opened my eyes to so many things. I have seen people literally make life and death decisions every day. I have seen mothers wonder how their children will be fed on a particular day. I have seen both children and adults drink the nastiest looking water. I have seen parents wonder if their child will live or die in the next 24 hours. I have seen people not only survive, but gratefully live with very meager means. Then, there's me...

I have wonderful family and friends both in America and here in Ghana. I have wonderful friends all over the globe. And, they ask me, "Sue, what do you want me to send you?" "Sue, what can bring you from Accra?" "Sue, how can we help you and your kids?"And, I answer them with my lists, my requests. But, more and more, I have been prefacing these lists, these requests with the words, "These are WANTS, none of these things are NEEDS."

Living in this type of culture/environment changes a person. The changes come slowly, discreetly, but, they do come. A person comes to realize what is important in life. And, even if it is a pair of glasses that don't arrive when I thought they would, life still goes on without them. It's no big deal. The things that matter...faith, hope and love. And the most important of these is love, the love God has for a fallen world and the love we give to Him and to others. The rest is small stuff.

Just One Little Drop

In the world's eyes, I am just a "normal" person. I haven't accomplished any great feat or have never found a cure for a incurable disease, my grades in school were just average. I am just like most of the world...a sinner. Yet, I have been saved by grace. And, THAT is what makes all the difference in the world!

Living in Ghana, in the Upper West Region, is no big deal. Not to me anyway. I have gotten involved in the life of the local church, in the lives of the children living at the Centre and in the administration of the clinic. People in the community have noticed that I am becoming more and more a part of them. Yet, here, I am not doing any "big" or "great" thing - in my eyes.

I spoke with someone today who had just returned from seeing the bishop of the Northern Ghana Diocese. Evidently, I was one of the topics of conversation. It seems that living everyday life in an area in which I live has created a ripple effect. People have been noticing, watching. Lives have been touched in one way or another. Encouragement has been received. People are being empowered. None of it is in "big, huge ways" but in individual lives. Yet, who knew? I was unaware. Praise God that He can use someone ordinary, like me, to do His work!

A New Name

Names are very important to Ghanaians. The Dagaaba people are no exception. A name can tell a lot about who you are, the circumstances of your birth or of your family. For example: Dery is a name given to a baby boy after a previous baby boy in the family died as an infant. Debuo is a name given to a child whose father died before the child was born. Barvier is a name given to a child who has been born on the final day of the Bari Festival (a Traditional festival) if there were no casualties during the festival. Bonyelli, the name of one of the girls who lives at the centre, means "What have I done? What is wrong?" (These questions are coming from the mother.) Papula is the name given to a child who has been born with fair skin, even though the skin darkens with time. Ayou is given to a child whose parents died while the child are still young.

So, when Dery told me that I was becoming a "Dagaarapog" - a Dagaara woman - he said I needed a Dagaara name. Hmmm...most of the ones I have heard have not been very positive. But, Dery said he would pray and let me know what name comes to mind. Monday, he told me my name..."Wasonti" (pronounced wa (a as in want) sewn tea) which is made up of three words. "Wa" means come, "son" means help, "ti" means us..."come help us." He said that God had sent me here to help the people, so the name fits well. I pray that I can "live up to my name" with God's help. I do not want to be an enabler. I want to be an "empower-er!"

Sanctuary

While living in western Pennsylvania there were many times and seasons of life when I felt as if I was distant from God & He from me. It seemed as if prayers were just bouncing off of walls and ceilings. I would become a person whom barely resembled the real "me." During those times, and others, I knew I needed God. I knew I needed to spend time with Him, open my heart to Him and pour out all the feelings and emotions and "stuff" and just let Him be God. I needed to know He was right there with me, beside me every step of the way. And, I knew that there were many times He carried me. I knew I had to leave the distractions of my job and my home and be alone with Him - no distractions. The sanctuary became that place for me. It has been a place where I could open myself up and be honest with God. I could let the walls come down. Since then, the sanctuary has become "home" to me. Safe. Secure. Holy. I don't need a crisis to be there. I just need to be closer with God and the sanctuary, no matter where I was, turned out to be that place - even in Ankaase, Ghana!

Since I have moved to Lawra, the sanctuary has not been a place of peace and refreshment. It has not been a "safe" and secure place where I could bare my soul to the Lord. Church politics, the knowledge that people always expect me to do something, provide something be some one, they have all kinds of expectations of me. I can't fill them. No one can. So, the sanctuary has not been that restful place for me...

Until last Wednesday. I woke up with a compulsion in my spirit to go to the sanctuary. I knew God was waiting for me there, He would meet me. I was not in a state of crisis or "woe is me." But, I guess I just needed that quality time with the Lord. So, I went.

And, I knew I was "home"!

Sacrificial Giving

I like to think of myself as a "giving" person, a person who gives of myself and my resources because I want to, not because I have to. But, have I really given sacrificially? Have I ever given from a standpoint of costing me something? Have ever I given out of my "poverty?" I think in my entire lifetime I have, but only a few times. Usually I give out of my excess. And, many times that excess seems to be need & I want to hang on to whatever it is instead of letting it go.

Thursday, I rode my bicycle to the Dery yir (the Dery house). I had to deliver some notices for church on Friday morning, but had never been to the house, so this was my "practice run." I met Dery's mother and father and other members of the household. After visiting for a time, I got up to leave. As is the custom, Dery got up to walked me and my bicycle down the path to the main road. He had put a bag of groundnuts in my bicycle basket for me to take home and enjoy. Dery's family grows enough food to feed themselves without extra to sell at the market. This year, someone allowed the goats to eat some of the crops. There really isn't any "extra" food to share or to give away. Yet, that's exactly what Dery did. He gave sacrificially. It cost him and his family food for a meal or more. He gave from his heart, out of his poverty, trusting God will provide.

When have I last given like that? Lord, teach me Your way of giving!

A Holy Detachment

I wrote this last Friday, but could not get online. I am "connected" now, so here is what I wrote:

Today is “one of those” days. My mind has been preoccupied with thoughts and prayers for one of the children who were discharged from the Centre yesterday. The children went with their mother to live in Biafor with their father, other siblings and their father’s other two wives and their families.

By American standards, the children did not have much while they lived in Lawra at the Centre. But, they had a bedroom with beds in it, screening on the windows to keep out the mosquitoes, clean water was close by, the school was near and…there were children around to play with – friends. At their new home, they will sleep on the floor. The window does have a screen on it, but not a metal one and it already has a hole in it. The water and school are not as close as they were here in Lawra. There are children around…step brothers and sisters as well as older brothers. There are children in the village, too.

The triplets, Sara, Rose and Paul are almost 2 ½ years old. They will quickly adapt to their new surroundings. Papula, though, may be a bit different. She is 7 years old. She knows what she had in Lawra. Now, those things, those people are gone…her friends, her bed, what she has come to know as “home” over the past two plus years.

I talked with Papula, prayed with her and said, “Good bye.” When I left Papula was crying. I know she needs to be with her family. I know that she is not alone. Now, I have to let go and let God be God. He knows what’s best. He will watch over her. I have to believe that and trust Him. He watches over the “least, the last and the lost.” I am so grateful that my God is a God who cares. It is now my turn to “let go and let God.”

A Privilege

This morning’s staff Bible Study was part 2 of the creation story found in Genesis chapter 1. We started where we left off last week, at verses 14-19, day 4 of creation. The verses were translated into Dagaare and then a discussion followed. As we talked about these verses, Aa-Denuu, an older man who was not in attendance last week, spoke up. Aa-Denuu had never heard the creation story! (He is a Traditionalist.) He was enthralled with it. He listened and even participated in the discussion. I asked him if he would like to see a picture book with the creation story in it. He said that, yes, he would like to see it. He is open to hearing about the One True God…the Creator! I praise and thank God for granting me this privilege of telling someone the story of creation for their very first time! Pray with me that one day Aa-Denuu would know accept, embrace and love the Lord God Almighty.

A Boy and His Fish

I have been trying to think of what to post…something profound. But, no thoughts came to mind. So, instead I am posting the story I wrote for my Dagaare lesson this past Friday. The translation follows. Enjoy!

Bie tɛri zim kpɛɛ.
A zim kpɛɛ be a laalɛduor puo.
A zim yiɛlu, “N bɛ bori fo ɔb me.”
A zim zona yi ne do tie.
A deblɛ buol o, “Sik wa!”
A zim kpɛɛ zorɛ dabie sik wa.
Lilkpɛsɛpla yakna a tie sazu.
A lilɛ nyɛna a zim ne yakna a kyɛn a zim zie.
A lilkpɛsɛpla ɔba a zim.
A deblɛ kohena a kulen bonso a lilkpɛsɛpla ɔba o zim.
Baar.

The child has a big fish. The big fish was in the small yellow bowl. The fish said, “I do not want to be eaten.” The fish ran outside and climbed a tree. The boy called to him, “come down!” The fish was afraid to come down. A big black bird flew above the tree. The bird saw the fish and flew to him. The big black bird ate the fish. The boy walked home crying because the big black bird ate his fish. The end.

There's no Place Like Home

There's no place like home, there's no place like home...and I have been home in Lawra for a week now. It is so good to be here. I have missed my own bed, my kids, my friends and my church family. Although circumstances and situations may drive me crazy (and to my knees) at times, there is still no place like home!

This past week seemed to be more hectic than most, but it could be my imagination since I haven't been here in a month. The week started out with worship...a good place to start! Then, two meetings with the bishop and the staff and management of Lawra Methodist Integrated Health Programme. Next, language lessons and visiting the kids, cleaning out toys, getting shelves fixed, hanging a mosquito net, Bible study, market, surprise visits from friends, laundry, quarterly meeting at church, preparing to lead staff Bible study, post office, customs, immigration, bank, paying bills, every day type of "stuff to do" and finding out on Friday that I was to preach on Sunday...plus more!

My spirit is being refreshed and renewed that God's mercies are new every morning. That He is always here with me and I can do all things not in my strength, but in His. And, as long as I remain in Him, I will always be home!

He Will Supply All You Need Just in Time – The Rest of the Story

Ever since I had decided to return to Lawra with or without my passport I have had such peace. I have been enjoying my days and calling to see if there has been any news about the visa and passport. Trust is not easy for me. During this time I believe that God has been trying to take me to a new level of trusting Him. I have felt as if a burden has been lifted off of me.

Late this morning I received a phone call from Mr. A. He was at Ghana Immigration Services. He had my passport, with my resident visa in it in his hand. Praise God!

Yesterday, I bought a bus ticket for Wa, about 2 hours from Lawra, for tonight at 10 PM. When did God supply my need? Today, Corrie Ten Boom’s father was right…God will supply all I need - just in time!

He Will Supply All You Need Just in Time - Page 3

Have you seen the movie. Facing the Giants? Some of the themes are never give up, never back down, never lose faith. In the movie, Grant Taylor's football team has had six consecutive losing seasons, finances at home are stretched to the limit and his wife desperately wants to get pregnant. After an encounter with God, Grant decides to live out his faith, praising God when they win, praising God when they lose. The school he coaches at has had a revival. Kids were giving their lives to Christ, asking for forgiveness and trying to lead lives that would honor God. When the team won a game, they praised God. When the team lost a game, they praised God. By the end of the movie, Grant's team wins the championship, his finances are on the upswing and his wife is pregnant.

When I face giants in my life, it rarely works out like it did in this movie. There are a lot of situations that I wanted changed, things I wanted to happen, relationships strengthened...and, it just didn't happen. I guess my life isn't a 112 minute movie.

What did happen, though, was the realization that God is all I needed to be complete, to be fulfilled. God was my strength, my fortress, my shelter, my hope, my provider, my healer, my...I can go on and on. He has been building His character in me. Imagine that! The characteristics of God, growing, taking root in me. It is a miracle for which I am thankful. Oh, there have been plenty of struggles, just as there were struggles in the move, but they weren't resolved in an hour and a half. It is a lifetime of learning, growing, trusting, becoming more like Him.

Now, my giant is the unknown about my resident visa. I have decided to return to Lawra with or without my passport tomorrow. I want to go home (to Lawra). I need to go home. I need to totally trust that this situation is in God's hands and that He will supply all I need - just in time!

Still Waiting

Here is yesterday's journal entry:

"Good morning, Lord. This morning I am filled with anxiety instead of trust. I want to trust, I choose to trust, but the anxiety seems to creep in. O God, I want my passport today so much that I can taste it. (yum!) I don't want to go back north without it. And, as I listen to others tell me how long they've waited for their passports, that trust and Your peace diminishes bit by bit. Help me to surrender it to You. O God, I do surrender it to You. Fill me with Your peace. Let me experience a new level of intimacy with you. My life is in your hands."

Mark 10:27 "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

Mark 11:22 "Have faith in God," Jesus said.