The Weight of the World

I have been thinking about the phrase, "The weight of the world is on my shoulders." I've felt like that a lot in my life, in the past, and to a degree, even now. Ever since I was divorced, I have bought into the idea of "pulling myself up by my bootstraps." After awhile, I realized that the body of Christ is ready and willing to help with those things that I can;t do or am clueless about; things like fixing my computer or a ride to and from the airport or doing a web page for me or even fixing stuff in my apartment that needs fixed or even making me chicken soup when I'm sick.

There have been times since I have been with The Mission Society that it seemed that I had to do everything myself. Since I am single, there is no spouse to help with packing, unpacking, getting stuff ready for visas, raising support, speaking, writing letters, making phone calls, fixing meals, cleaning the apartment, helping with income, taking care of day to day life stuff so I can have some relaxed time for myself, grocery shopping, language learning, and the list goes on. Some days can seem so endless and so hard. And, yet, because I am alone, if I need to stop what I'm doing to do something else that "just came up" I can do it. There's pros and cons to it.

Right now, at 7AM on Wednesday, November 17th, I feel as if I have that weight on my shoulders. I am getting ready to move to Ghana. My moving sale is December 4th. I have to decide what to keep and store for ten years, what to sell, what to give away, what to pack keeping in mind that I am only taking three cases with me. I do have people helping here and there at random times. And, some stuff others just can't do. I have to practice going out of my comfort zone and call people, asking them to come and help for a couple of hours. I can't do it alone. I need the body of Christ including my "Home Team" to help me with various projects.

Part of the problem is that many people are not available when I am. The other problem is that I feel as if I am imposing on people if I call and ask for help. (My problem, not theirs!) When I can't sleep, I'll get up and do odds and ends that need to be done, like empty a book shelf or a dresser drawer. Then, I'll get ready for the day, have my quiet time with the Lord and continue with what needs to be done. By the time people are home from work, I'm ready for bed!

The solution? Give it to God. Let Him carry the weight. Make phone calls. Ask people to help at specific times. And, keep on keepin' on, relying on the strength that comes from Him. God's hand print has been on all of this so far. I know He will continue to lead, guide, strengthen and give wisdom. And when all is said and done, I will praise Him!