A Truthful Answer

Not too long ago, someone with whom I was talking, asked me, “Do you need to work or do you want to work?” The question caught me by surprise. I hesitated for a moment before I answered. “Both” was my answer. With the way prices and the cost of living have skyrocketed since COVID, to live the life in which I have gotten accustomed to (LOL!), I would really have to tighten up the purse strings if I didn’t work. The extra money does come in handy. 

But, it’s more than that. When I retired and returned from Ghana, I moved to a place where I knew one family. And they moved away six months later. So, there’s a real personal reason why I work, my “want to” reason. That reason is that it gets me out of the house. I meet new people. I’ve made friends. My eyes have been opened to a whole new world! Yes, moving to Patrick County was a bit of a culture shock after living in a remote part of Ghana for eight years, but it was a good one. Just as I was starting to get acclimated here, COVID hit. Then, it was back to square one, starting all over again.  

My job has given me a reason to get up on a bad day and a reason to share the love of Christ by being a service to others on a good day. I have met so many people and have had tons of opportunities to get out in the community. I still love being a part time hermit, but I’m my own worst enemy at times, especially if I spend too much time alone. My job gets me out and about. I feel as if I’m living my best life. I’m grateful for the fact that it’s part time because I still like that hermit part of me. 

I believe that it’s a God thing that I ended up working where I do. I wasn’t even looking for a job. It kinda fell into my lap. And, it’s the perfect job for me. God knew what I needed before I did! Thank You, Lord, you’re amazing!

Wait

 

I really dislike waiting. So much of life is filled with it, and from a very young age. You can’t wait until you can go to school. You can’t wait until you’re 16. You can’t wait until you have a driver’s license. You can't wait until you're 21, You can’t wait to graduate from college. You can’t wait until you move into your first apartment. And the list goes on and on.

Those are exciting waits. But, what about the wait to hear from the doctor? The wait to hear if your company is really downsizing? The wait for your child to come home at night? Some of those types of waits are stressful and not at all appealing.

Then, there’s the every day waits. You wait at the traffic signal. You wait at the grocery store. You wait for  Jeopardy! to come on. You wait for dinner to be done. You wait for the clothes to dry. You wait for your Amazon order to come. There are so many times we have "normal" waits everyday.

Waiting in and of itself isn't bad. It could be a good thing. I think that what is done during the wait is important. It seems as if I've been doing a lot of waiting the last few months. I've waited for sinus surgery. I've waited to look at apartments. I've waited for mail. I've waited for an interview. Sometimes I get frustrated with the wait. It's hard not knowing, it's hard not doing. I would rather know what is going to happen and when. That's not how life is, though.We aren't always privy to the when, where, and how. 

For me, the lesson is in the wait. Wait for the Lord; be strong, let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14) During times of waiting, when I get anxious or frustrated, I can put my trust in the Lord. I can take action. I can be patient. I can prepare myself for each scenario, knowing full well that God is in control and He has my future in His hands. With Him, it's always worth the wait.

I Believe

This morning I was listening to a song by Lauren Daigle entitled You Say. Today it really spoke to my spirit. Do you know the song? if not, here are the words:

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough

Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe (I)
Oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe (I)
Oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe

Taking all I have, and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure, God, You have every victory
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe (I)
Oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe

Oh, I believe (I)
Yes, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe

One of the reasons this spoke to me so strongly was that I have applied for a part time job and I have an interview next week. It's been ages since I have gone through this. The job is one in which I'm quite familiar. I have been doing a lot of what the job requires for quite a while. It is through a different agency and my allotted time is coming to an end. I find myself questioning if I will be able to do the job proficiently. And then I remind myself to trust God. I seem to have to be reminded of that a lot. Trust. Believe. So, when I hear the voices in my mind that say I'm not enough or when I hear the lie that tells me I will never measure up, I remember, or try to rmember to trust God. I need to believe I am who He says I am. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else matters. 

I believe. I believe what He says of me. I believe.