Out of My Comfort Zone

I’m not a person who makes New Year resolutions. When I think of the word l think of the word  “resolve,” I think of what is said of Daniel in scripture. Daniel “resolved” not to each the rich food that he was given, sticking to a diet of vegetables and water. He wouldn’t defile himself with the king’s food. I’m definitely not in the same league as Daniel! 

But, I’m not opposed to setting goals for myself. I tend to be a homebody. So, I have challenged myself to get out more, to do something at least once a month. In January, I went to a local church that was hosting a ladies night to make a prayer board/vision board. I didn’t know anyone there, but I went. There was a glorious time of worship, good food and a chance to be creative. I am actually using my board.

February found me making a reservation at a local winery for a wine and chocolate pairing. I was going to go by myself and a good book, but a friend decided to go with me. It was nice to relax and talk with a friend for the afternoon. And, the chocolate was delicious! 

In March, I wasn’t sure what I would do. I kept thinking that I wanted to try the Salt Cave in the next town. I never called, so I went to the Historic Star Theatre to hear the Maui Mt. Airy Ukulele Invasion play. I had no idea what to expect. It’s easy to think “Don Ho.” It was definitely far from that. The guy who taught these 30 plus ukulele players had a great stage presence and an even better voice. He sang most of the songs they played starting with “Listen to the Music” and ending with “Hey, Jude.” It was an amazing show.

I finally did call to make an appointment with the Salt Cave. I figured it would be my April outing. They could take me that same day, in less than an hour, in fact. So, off I went. The room had Himalayan salt on the walls and on the floor. There was a comfortable lounge chair and waves for background noise. It really felt like I was at the beach. And, the air was infused with teeny tiny salt, too. So relaxing. Now, I have to think of something to do in April. 

I’m trying to balance out being a hermit and getting out. It’s hard sometimes. I like my comfort zone. If I stay there, I would rarely do anything. Where does the push and the strength and the confidence come from to get me to do these things? From my Lord and my God. And, I am grateful.

Friendship

 

Today I  am challenged. I was reading in the book of Amos, chapter 3. It says, “Can two walk together without agreeing to meet?” Hmmmm. My goal since I returned from Ghana was to be a hermit. I have revised that goal. Now, I just want to be a part-time hermit. Having close friends has always been difficult for me. But, in my heart of hearts, I have always yearned for that small circle of close friends. You know, the kind that don’t mind if you call them at 4:00 in the morning because life happened. 

I am blessed because I have a couple of these friends. One lives in Rome, GA. I don’t see her often. When I do, it’s life-giving. I wished we lived closer. There are two or three other people who come to mind when thinking about friends. They have seen me in the best of times and the worst of times. We don’t get together often. They have families close by and have family obligations. 

I see people on Facebook that share pictures of times that they get together with friends…a weekly walk, a monthly dinner, going someplace fun, and I wonder, “Why don’t I have friends like that?” These friends have been friends forever, they grew up near each other and have lived in the same general locality for most of their lives. They share life together. I’ve only been here five years. 

I’m my own worst enemy. I don’t share life too often, not the deep down nitty gritty of life. I don’t want to take off my mask and be vulnerable. I’ve been hurt too many times in life and I’m not sure if I want to risk it. I know I shouldn’t isolate myself when I’m not working. It’s one of my safety nets. It works for me in this chapter of my life. Will I be this way for the rest of my life? Maybe, maybe not. From time to time, I force myself to get out, to be around people, to sign up for a class, to volunteer. Even now, I just want to go upstairs and read. I’m pretty comfortable with myself. 

What I do know is that when others have failed me, God hasn’t. I’m grateful for that. 

A Season of Transition

I recently received an update letter from Orphan’s Tree, a charity that gives life skills and the love and hope of Jesus Christ to orphanage graduates in Russia and beyond. I know the president of the organization. His parents were beloved friends of mine. Anyway, he wrote a simple, personal note to me at the bottom of the letter. It touched me in a profound way.

What did he write that touched me so? Just six simple words, “Trust your transition is going well!!” I have been thinking a lot about this lately. Transition from living in a remote area of Ghana for eight years to life in rural Virginia seems like it has just been one transition after another. It definitely hasn’t been easy. 

When I returned to the US, I eventually ended up in Patrick County, VA. Since I had no place to live, no furniture, dishes, towels, etc., I rented a completely furnished cabin from friends of mine. They were the only ones I knew in this part of the world. Six months later, I changed my driver’s license from Pennsylvania to Virginia. Ten days later, I was told that the property was put up for sale. I didn’t have to move right away, I could stay until it sold, if I wanted. That ended up to be a blessing because I could take my time looking for an apartment. 

Three months later I moved. I love my apartment and plan on staying here as long as possible. I was just getting to know people when COVID hit. I was really grateful for my apartment then, I had lots of space and could be outside on the deck. But, one of ways the COVID lockdown affected me was that I really became a hermit. Sure, I would go grocery shopping and such, but it just increased my desire to be a “homebody.” Yes, I needed a break from being in the public eye 24/7 as I was in Ghana, with people looking in my windows and stopping by anytime of the day. 

Right now, I’m doing okay. I’ve had to deal with health issues, having had four sinus surgeries since I’ve been back. I’ve gained weight and haven’t lost it. I still sleep with a CPAP machine. I keep looking for a church similar to my home church in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania. I haven’t found one yet. (Maybe because I’m in a very rural area with over 90 churches in the area. Almost all of them are small.) I am still a hermit, but now I’m a part-time hermit. I actually have a part time job which forces me to meet people and interact with them. I have met some amazing folks here. God has blessed me with a couple of good friends. I really do love where I live….

But, will it ever really and truly feel like “home?” Will I ever feel settled? I doubt it. I attribute that to my age. Little by little, I’m getting closer to my eternal home. Maybe that’s the reason for my feeling of unsettled-ness. Will my transition ever be complete? No, not here on Earth. Life is just one transition after another. I just have to trust God to get me through one to the next. That’s what I plan to do.

A Truthful Answer

Not too long ago, someone with whom I was talking, asked me, “Do you need to work or do you want to work?” The question caught me by surprise. I hesitated for a moment before I answered. “Both” was my answer. With the way prices and the cost of living have skyrocketed since COVID, to live the life in which I have gotten accustomed to (LOL!), I would really have to tighten up the purse strings if I didn’t work. The extra money does come in handy. 

But, it’s more than that. When I retired and returned from Ghana, I moved to a place where I knew one family. And they moved away six months later. So, there’s a real personal reason why I work, my “want to” reason. That reason is that it gets me out of the house. I meet new people. I’ve made friends. My eyes have been opened to a whole new world! Yes, moving to Patrick County was a bit of a culture shock after living in a remote part of Ghana for eight years, but it was a good one. Just as I was starting to get acclimated here, COVID hit. Then, it was back to square one, starting all over again.  

My job has given me a reason to get up on a bad day and a reason to share the love of Christ by being a service to others on a good day. I have met so many people and have had tons of opportunities to get out in the community. I still love being a part time hermit, but I’m my own worst enemy at times, especially if I spend too much time alone. My job gets me out and about. I feel as if I’m living my best life. I’m grateful for the fact that it’s part time because I still like that hermit part of me. 

I believe that it’s a God thing that I ended up working where I do. I wasn’t even looking for a job. It kinda fell into my lap. And, it’s the perfect job for me. God knew what I needed before I did! Thank You, Lord, you’re amazing!