The day started like any other day. I woke up
from a good night's sleep. (Thank You, Jesus!) Made coffee. Exercised. Showered. Got
dressed. Packed my lunch. and I went to work.
It was a Tuesday morning, October 20. I was minding my own business, doing whatever I was doing at my desk when my phone rang. I don't usually take personal calls at work, but this was from the OBGYN office. I got up and went outside for some privacy as I answered the phone. Sure enough, the results of my biopsy were in, and it was only 6 days!
The PA that I see was on the phone. She asked if I saw the results online yet. No, I haven't. She said that the results were malignant. I coundn't even think what that meant. I wasn't prepared for this. I asked her, "What does this mean?" "Cancer" was the reply. Shock. I was definatetly not expecting this. I was told to expect a call from the oncologist's office to schedule an appointment. We talked a little more and that was it.
The next day the oncologist's office called. I have an appointment on November 2. I have two more weeks of waiting before I find out what happens next. I went into a “do what you have to do” mode, going through the motions, calling my brother and sister, telling my boss, calling a few close praying friends. I wouldn’t let myself think about what that news meant or what it might bring. Some people might call it denial. I called it taking care of business
Since then, my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place. My body is betraying me. Even though the type of cancer that I have has a high survival rate, I can’t help but pray, “Lord, I don’t want to die.” My prayers have been short one because I really don’t have the words to say. Waiting for the oncologist appointment is so hard. Hopefully, when I see him, I will get a clearer picture of what is happening in me and what the next steps will be.
Lord, hold me close. Help me to be patient and calm as I wait.
“Do not fear, for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10
