Something to Celebrate

 

For the past week and a half, I have been in denial. No, that’s not right. I’ve just been doing a combination of ignoring the issue and doing what needs to be done. I’m getting pretty good at ignoring the issue. I still have quite a few things to do today. 

Surgery is tomorrow. I’ll get the scheduled time for it later today. I have sheets to change, laundry to do, toilets to clean and a few more things along that line. Packing needs to be done, just in case I get admitted. Then, there’s the high carbohydrate drinks and the showers with the special medicated soap used before surgery. Fun times! Not.

Last week, my bloodwork showed low potassium levels. I have been eating bananas, almonds, beans, cantaloupe and other high potassium foods. Yesterday, at my cardiologist appointment, the bloodwork was redone. The potassium level went from 3.2 to 4.4. Thank You, Lord. I’m now in the normal range and my care team will be happy. In the midst of so much uncertainty, it’s nice to have something to celebrate. 

Surgery Scheduled

The consultation with the oncologist went well. He was very optimistic. But, I can’t help but think that’s part of his job. This type of cancer is rated 1,2, or 3. Mine is a 2, but he said that he groups the 2s with the 1s. I will have a total hysterectomy on November 13 in Winston-Salem, NC. He will also take a few lymph nodes to have them tested. The plan is to have an arthroscopic surgery. 

I went for the pre-op appointment and labs 4 days ago. Everything went well except for one. My potassium level is low so now I’m eating bananas, almonds, cantaloupe, raw carrots, Brussels sprouts, and other things high in potassium. I should be getting it rechecked on Wednesday. Hopefully, the level has increased at least somewhat. 

I have lists of stuff to do between now and surgery on Friday. I work two days, have to drive to Mt. Airy for a cardiologist appointment another day. That leaves me with one day to do everything that isn’t done before then. What gets done, gets done. I’ll try not to stress about it. 

Please pray for a successful surgery. Pray that the lymph nodes are cancer free. Pray I can come home on Friday. Pray that there are no complications with my recovery. Pray for my care team. Pray that God’s peace and presence will be felt. And the list goes on….

Do Not Fear

Do not fear. Easier said than done. Since my cancer diagnosis I have tried to keep my mind busy. I try not to think about it. I can state facts and act like it’s just “the way it is.” The reality is, I don’t want to feel the emotions connected to it. I go through the motions, go to doctor appointments and keep on going. 

But, how am I really? Do you really want to know? I don’t know how to pray. Or maybe I’m just avoiding a heart to heart conversation with God. Because if that happens, tears will come and I will have to admit my fears. My doubts. My questions. My “why?s.” My what comes next? 

I didn’t even cry for almost a week after the diagnosis. I was at church listening to the worship songs when the tears started. Then, the pastor called me up front and the women of the church laid hands on me and prayed for me.  Then, the tears really came. 

I know deep in my heart that I can trust God. There no reason to fear because He is with me. He’s in control. It’s hard. So, together, let’s trust Him. I’m asking you to be strong for me so I can join in and be strong, too. Trusting God is hard to do. Together, it’s possible. 
 

The Day That Life as I Know It Changed

The day started like any other day. I woke up from a good night's sleep. (Thank You, Jesus!) Made coffee. Exercised. Showered. Got dressed. Packed my lunch. and I went to work.

 It was a Tuesday morning, October 20. I was minding my own business, doing whatever I was doing at my desk when my phone rang. I don't usually take personal calls at work, but this was from the OBGYN office. I got up and went outside for some privacy as I answered the phone. Sure enough, the results of my biopsy were in, and it was only 6 days! 

The PA that I see was on the phone. She asked if I saw the results online yet. No, I haven't. She said that the results were malignant. I coundn't even think what that meant. I wasn't prepared for this. I asked her, "What does this mean?" "Cancer" was the reply. Shock. I was definatetly not expecting this. I was told to expect a call from the oncologist's office to schedule an appointment. We talked a little more and that was it. 

The next day the oncologist's office called. I have an appointment on November 2. I have two more weeks of waiting before I find out what happens next. I went into a “do what you have to do” mode, going through the motions, calling my brother and sister, telling my boss, calling a few close praying friends. I wouldn’t let myself think about what that news meant or what it might bring. Some people might call it denial. I called it taking care of business  

Since then, my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place. My body is betraying me. Even though the type of cancer that I have has a high survival rate, I can’t help but pray, “Lord, I don’t want to die.” My prayers have been short one because I really don’t have the words to say. Waiting for the oncologist appointment is so hard. Hopefully, when I see him, I will get a clearer picture of what is happening in me and what the next steps will be. 

Lord, hold me close. Help me to be patient and calm as I wait.

“Do not fear, for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10

Trusting God in the Waiting

Now that I'm in waiting mode, everything seems to be going pretty well. I work part time and I love my job. My health seems to be on an upswing. I'm making plans to go to a state park for a few days. And I continue on the constant battle to lose weight. 

Then, one evening four weeks ago or so, something was't quite right. I went through menopause decades ago. Now, I was bleeding! What is that about? I was grateful that I had some supplies to get me through the night. I called my OBGYN in the morning and scheduled an appointment for 6 days later. I went to Walmart to buy supplies. I was in the feminine hygiene section looking like a deer in headlights. I saw nothing familiar. How was I to choose? I was way too old to even be in this aisle let alone buy anything from it. 

Fast forward a week. I saw my OBGYN. An ultrasound was done. It wasn’t good. But, to what degree wasn’t it good? I was scheduled for a biopsy the following week. Biopsy was done. Now to wait for the results that I would have in two weeks at the latest. 

Now, all I could do was to trust God. And that’s basically all that I could do. Some days it’s hard. Some days I just wanted to go to bed, in my blanket cave, and wait for the results. I’m not very good at waiting. Life goes on. I went to work, some days I felt like I was going through the motions. When a visitor came in, the welcoming face came on and I truly wanted to help them find the information that they wanted. I’m so grateful for my job, it helped the time pass while waiting for results. 

Lord, I’m here. Waiting. Trusting You. No matter what. Help me be patient in the waiting.

 

The Waiting Game

 

And the saga continues….

In the midst of all the coughing in July and August, another problem arose. I noticed that my breast didn’t seem “normal.” It was nothing real noticeable, but I just had that feeling that something wasn’t right. Then, I noticed a bit of drainage. Nothing big, just a little here and there. I called an OBGYN and made an appointment for a mammogram. 

When I went for the mammogram, it wasn’t done. Why? Because I was having problems and a diagnostic mammogram had to be done. So, that was scheduled for September. Praise God the was an opening two weeks later and I didn’t have to wait two months! I was scheduled for a digital diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound of my breasts. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait for the results. 

The doctor came in with the results in his hand. He sat down and explained them to me. There was some tissue density and there were some minimally prominent ducts but no significant debris or solid lesion. On the report it states, “ACR BI-RADS CATEGORY 3–PROBABLY BENIGN. (Between 0-2% chance of cancer.) I was instructed to have these same tests done in six months to see if there was a difference . 

Praise God that nothing significant showed up. Now, all I had to do was wait, right?

Challenges

 

Life is full of challenges. All kinds of challenges. Some are exciting, like graduating from university or starting a new job or getting married or welcoming a new child into your family. Some challenges are not so exciting, like the death of a loved one or divorce or trying to make ends meet in today’s economy. Yet, life goes on, even though at times we want it to stop and stand still for just a little while. 

I have faced many challenges in my life and I know that you have, too. My latest challenges have involved my health. I know, I know...all old people talk about is their health and what their latest ailment is. But, I'm old, so I'll allowed to do it!

My challenges started in May with "some sort of virus." Then, it was viral bronchitis. Next, viral walking pnuemonia. I had a chest x-ray. It showed heart issues. So I saw a cardiologist. I had an EKG. It was good. I was put on some meds to address the issues that showed up in the x-ray. I had an echocardiogram. That looked pretty good, too. Praise God some more. I had a mamogram it showed an abnormal area. I go back in January for another one. 

I was fine for awhile. Then, I was put on a new med that was the catalyst for "a coughing up a lung, pee your pants, can't sleep" type of cough. Praise God, the medicine was changed, but the problem wasn't solved. So, I had allergy testing done. I'm allergic to cats. I was still coughing. I saw a pulminologist. A few things were switched up and I got 95% better. I was so grateful for that. I could sleep through the night again! 

Health was on the way, wasn't it?